Be Your Own Dictator.

Even If That Does Not Sit With You.

Aditya Dave
3 min readNov 8, 2020
Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

When I heard a recent episode from The Joe Rogan Experience with Mathew McConaughey, they talked about how Matt’s parents disciplined him growing up and it resonated with me. Not with the same methods but the core idea invoked a thought that fostered.

You see, a child growing up is like a plant growing from the ground. You can shape it all you want, and whatever you shape it in, it’s going to end up growing into exactly that.

So, the manners and the values were beset upon us when we are young. If we make an honest mistake, we got a sit down with our parents along with a good scolding. If you made the same mistake again, well in my case; a flipper flying and hitting my head.

So why do you need a standard? Because you are now grown up. The people who kept us in check are soon going to be too old to be asked to do it. And soon you may have to go out there in the world and get your own.

You need standards to keep yourself in check. To make sure you don’t get the bad apples. So you don’t make a decision that you regret in the future.

Some people call it self respect, I call it SRs.

SR stands for Standard Rules. These are the rules you don’t break. These are the last line of defense and the first line for when you have to make a tough decision.

You have to be a dictator when it comes to standards that you hold yourself up-to.

How to be a Dictator (of yourself)?

Step 1-Decide on the Values.

Take out a piece of paper and write the three things you want to. These can range from wanting a good and honest life to reading six pages a day.

Whatever it is, write it down. Just the three Standard Rules you want to see yourself follow. No more than that. You don’t want to get overwhelmed and quit it before it starts, do you?

Three it is.

If you cannot think of anything worthwhile to be adapted, then think of your friend or a sibling. Think of what standards would you want him or her to have in his or her life. It can be anyone of the following;

  • Maybe you want them to be honest.
  • You want then to speak up when struck with adversity.
  • You want them to write or read 5 pages everyday.

Nine times out of ten, those will be exact same ones that you need.

Step 2-Apply One at First

Take one of the standards. Start with the first rule.

If it is about being speaking up or being assertive, then make a strategy for its implementation. Say, try to speak up 3 times a day when you have to be assertive.

Don’t care about if you fail or succeed. Just start setting that standard. So much so that you live through it. Live by it.

Step 3-Don’t stop

Don’t get carried away by all the motivation you (may) get from this post. This isn’t a one time fortune cookie wisdom. This is a long term game and we haven’t even finished the first quarter of it yet.

Consider the long game.

If you tried to be assertive and failed. If you stumbled with the words or couldn’t get your point across the first few times then don’t worry.

Start again anyway. Stick with your standards. Be a Dictator of your standards. Don’t stop living by your standards.


  1. Decide your Standards for yourself.
  2. Start acting on one of them. Start slow.
  3. Don’t stop because of a stumble. Keep going.

Setting your own standards is the first step towards being self aware.

In the end, you have to remember that these are the standards (values) that you have to choose to live your life by. It’s supposed to be a part of your identity. The one who you are going to be.

Don’t let yourself down. Don’t even attempt it.